Well I was happy to see Elvira back in the limelight and on TV. I am a Big Elvira fan and love her commentary on Public Domain Horror and other B movies. I love the idea of “hosting” horror movies although its a very antiquated and regional idea now. I love that she has lately been releasing videos with her commentary stuck in there.
That all being said. The first show was disappointing.
The first thing we learn is that two Elvira impersonators will be helping Elvira judge. These two queens may appear to look like her but they act very much like queens and that is not Elvira. I didn’t mind that she was getting help, but they didn’t help except to be cruel. I guess I appreciate their right to look like her, but as far as knowing her, I thought they maybe should have said less and just looked pretty. One of them was giving advice to a contestant saying she needed to be (and I don’t remember the exact quote) Like Bela Lugosi on crack. I think you should know who Lugosi is and have watched all his movies but Lugosi does not equal Elvira. You don’t hear Elvira shouting. PULL DA STRAING! and thank goodness for that.
The thing that no one seems to get is that though Elvira looks like the Mistress of the Dark carries herself like a Valley Girl, talks like a valley girl, thinks like a horny teenager. She may look spooky but really she is more like the B52’s than Bela Lugosi. Maybe I will see more of that as the show goes on, but it seemed like we were going for looks alone this show. As far as looks were concearned it seemed like there were plenty of Goths and spooky looking girls and guys there. Hey maybe I am the one in the dar here but Goth does not equal Elvira any more than more than Lugosi does. I mean has anyone watched her shows and movies? She is always bemoaning the movies, insulting the characters, laughing at these movies. She was MST3K before there was any such thing as MST3K. Goths love the macabre, Elvira laughs at it. I don’t think anyone I saw on that first show was “getting it” and maybe that is meant to be.
Next I do have to make an exception here. Why are we searching for the next Elvira when the one we have is perfectly good? I understand maybe that Elvira is like the Dread Pirate Roberts and she wants to pass on the mantle when she is having fun. I don’t know, I just think that its still way to early to have a new Elvira and the best part is not the boobs, its her comedic timing and personality. I think you can find a lookalike like the imersonators, I think you can find someon who is yong and vivacious and looks great in an Elvira costume, but you are not ging to find another Elvira. You might as well ask for a new Mice. It’s not bloody likely, even from my kids.
Lastly I was very surpirsed to see Girls Next Door star Bridget Marquardt show up to try out to be Elvira. Yes, Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend, blonde vivacious, Barbie-like, Bidget. I was like, hey she already has a show! What how can she be Elvira? But then you know, she is hot, she does have a sort of a Valley thing going on. She says she loves Halloween. I know Hef has quite the collection of movies, but I just don’t see her watching The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Zombies, or Piranha, or Planet of the Vampires, much less tell jokes about them. I mean who knows stranger things have happened.
I will keep watching but I am forced to admit that the medium is the message and reality TV is doing what no one believed was possible - lowered the discourse even more. Made things that much more trivial and inane. Good on Elvira for getting out there and having something new. Boo on her for making it so much like every other reality TV show - All style, no substance. And when I mean substance I mean, having personality, charm, humor, and critiquing horror with bad puns and hackney jokes. Have more of that on the show. Then I and probably about 6 other guys will be happy. All the teenagers will be puzzled and will just delete the program off their mom’s Tivo.
More Later,
