I am deep in the throes of an Ed Wood marathon at my house now. I guess its not a marathon that anyone else, least of all my wife, is taking part in. It not a marathon that is continous - for where would I get all the time to watch all the material in one sitting? However I have been watching all the Ed Wood movies I can get my mitts on. Not mitts as in “you naughty kittens you lost your mittens”, but mitts as in “get your big mitts offa me, ya lug”. Yes, this has been called the worst movie ever made. On the surface of this it is certainly true that the film lacks continuity, acting ability, a crafted story, or anything else that one would expect to see in a movie.
However, it does have a singular weird vision, a sort of a zietgeist. This film was not made just to knock out another crappy made for TV movie like so many SCI FI original movies. It is bad, but since Plan 9 there have been so many truely unwatchable, unredeemable films, made that it really needs its own, new, hitherto undefined, zenith or nadir dubious honor bestowed upon it.
The real worst movie ever made? Possibly Dracula 3000. I reserve the right to change that at any time. Wait, I just did. Alien Species is pretty bad. It could easily be the worst.
What was that one with Thor? Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare? Yah. um that is definitely in the running for worst ever films made by humans.
All of this is to say that Plan 9 is dreadful, but loveable. The others I mentioned were awful and by that I mean really do not see them. And by that I mean don’t see them becuase you think, I love B movies, I will like them despite what mice says. The movies I mentioned are actually just not worth seeing and somehow should only be shown to terrorists as punishment while Amnesty International writes letters on your behalf begging your captors to stop showing you this movie because it is just that bad. No, unlike those other possibly the worst movie ever Plan 9 is a sweet little no budget film that endears you to it like the runt of the litter. Its so silly and is trying so hard that it gets a A for effort. An although it not like its going to do Edward D. Wood Jr. any good, you should watch it and ejoy the suckousity of the moment.
Think about what you would have done with the tiniest budget in the world. Think about how you would have made he flying saucers. Think about what your shooting schedule would have been like. Think about what lines you would have made the aliens say before getting pistol whipped. Think about your sets, your costumes and what you whether you would have used the footage of Legosi outside somebody’s house with a funny hat on. What stock footage would you have used, or would you have used any stock footage at all?
