Silver Screen
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
One Star Movies

Here is a list of movies available for rent on Netflix that I deemed horrible, bad bad not bad good.

They are in alpha order sorry.

1 9 1/2 Weeks (1986)
2 A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)
3 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
4 Alien Species: Director’s Cut (1996)
5 Along Came Polly (2004)
6 Anger Management (2003)
7 Bad Boys II (2003)
8 Batman & Robin (1997)
9 Batman Forever (1995)
10 Battlefield Earth (2000)
11 Black Mask (1998)
12 Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
13 Bring It On (2000)
14 Bringing Down the House (2003)
15 Centre Stage (1992)
16 Child’s Play (1988)
17 Cool Runnings (1993)
18 Crimson Wolf (1994)
19 Daylight (1996)
20 Die You Zombie Bastards! (2005)
21 Don’t Go in the Woods Alone (1982)
22 Dragonheart (1996)
23 Event Horizon (1997)
24 Faces of Death / Fact or Fiction? (1999)
25 Female Vampire (1973)
26 Flesh Gordon (1974)
27 Friday the 13th: Part 8 (1989)
28 Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)
29 From Dusk ‘Til Dawn 3 (1999)
30 From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
31 Girls School Screamers (1986)
32 Heat (1972)
33 Highlander 2: Renegade Version (1990)
34 House on the Edge of the Park (1980)
35 Hugo Pool (1997)
36 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
37 Icebreaker (1999)
38 Ichi the Killer (2001)
39 Iron Chef USA (2001)
40 "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)"
41 Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
42 Lost in Space (1998)
43 Love’s Labour’s Lost (2000)
44 Mannheim Steamroller: Christmas Live (1997)
45 May (2003)
46 Meet the Parents (2000)
47 Mortal Kombat: The Movie (1995)
48 Multiplicity (1996)
49 My Beautiful Laundrette (1986)
50 My Little Eye (2002)
51 Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1991)
52 Pacific Heights (1990)
53 Piranha (1978)
54 Please Save My Earth (2000)
55 Pootie Tang (2001)
56 Rat Race (2001)
57 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
58 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
59 Ringu (1998)
60 Risky Business (1983)
61 Rocky (1976)
62 Saludos Amigos (1943)
63 Sam Kinison: Why Did We Laugh? (1998)
64 Scary Movie (2000)
65 Screamers (1996)
66 Screaming Dead (2003)
67 Sense and Sensibility (1995)
68 Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine (1973)
69 Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
70 Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids (2004)
71 Stepmom (1998)
72 Superchick (1973)
73 The Abyss (1989)
74 The Best Man (1999)
75 The Black Stallion (1979)
76 The Haunting (1999)
77 The Last Starfighter (1984)
78 The Lawnmower Man (1992)
79 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
80 The Naughty Stewardesses (1975)
81 The Return of Spinal Tap (1992)
82 The Shining (1980)
83 The Three Caballeros (1942)
84 The Waterboy (1998)
85 Top Gun (1986)
86 Twister (1996)
87 Vampire Blues (1999)
88 Waiting for Guffman (1996)
89 What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
90 Wind in the Willows (1999)
91 Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh (1997)
92 Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood (2000)
93 World’s Greatest Animation (1994)
94 Young Guns (1988)
95 Zero Effect (1998)

Any that you feel are worth watching here? Maybe there is something that you feel should be added to this list. Chime in if you like.
I crossed out some ones that were kinda good. Not sure why they only got one star.

Friday, January 18, 2008
Recall Recall Recall

Recall

When do they start offering vacations and won’t they have to pay licensing when that happens?

Friday, September 07, 2007
Three Little Fonzies

Jules: Now Yolanda, we’re not gonna do anything stupid, are we?
Yolanda: You don’t hurt him.
Jules: Nobody’s gonna hurt anybody. We’re gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what’s Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what’s Fonzie like?
Yolanda: Cool?
Jules: What?
Yolanda: He’s cool.
Jules: Correctamundo. And that’s what we’re gonna be. We’re gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I’m gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One… two… three.
[Ringo sits down opposite Jules]
Yolanda: All right, now you let him go.
Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.
Yolanda: You just know, you touch him, you die.
Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don’t want that. And you don’t want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesn’t want that. 

Friday, June 15, 2007
Fantastic Four Two

Some tiny spoilers in this review. Its was good. It was not Fantastic. it was not horrible. I liked it.

The first one was wretched. I was very dissapointed. If you have not seen it, maybe skip it and see this one.

Silver Surfer was pretty good. Galacticus. Eh. You don’t see his real form or the form that I was hoping to see with space antlers and all.

Oh you had to know that Galacticus is in this one right? I mean you can’t really introduce Silver Surfer without Galacticus right?

There is another villian in this one too. I guess Marvel has decided that in order to have a movie you gots to heap on the baddies. It is pulled off O.K. too.

As far as comic book movies its somewhere in the middle. Better than Daredevil and the Hulk but weaker than say Superman or Batman Begins.

I know what you are thinking this guy is a DC lovin’ dweeb. No, I have always loved Marvel, its just that they have to step it up when it comes to their feature films.

So its about as good as a Spiderman or X-Men movie. Some great parts but mostly so-so.

My question is this, have they fully digitized Stan Lee so that he can make a cameo after he goes to comic book heavan hopefully sometime in the distant future? Cause he always makes a cameo. You know that right? He’s the old guy with the bushy eyebrows.

Anyway, you would be better serverd by reading a Fantastic Four comic book.

Thursday, December 28, 2006
Detour 1945

I was very impressed with this little gem. I forget who recommeded it to me or why but it is a perfect example of Film Noir especially the very artificial bad guys being brought to justice in the end. My understanding is that the film board would not allow a film to be seen in which the murderers got away.

I love Film Noir and would like to see more films like this.

I also read about Tom Neal who is the films lead actor and point on which the story revolves. Seems his life was not so rosey either. Poor sap, as Bogart might have remarked

Noir is like horror, but different. Its a tragedy of a different proportion. Its a resignation that everything and everyone is sliding towards an inconsolable doom and that nothing and no one can do a thing about it. Sort of like Its a Wonderful Life that ends with Jimmy Stewart jumping. I applaud this view and bemoan its absence from contemporary film. Maybe its just not the same in color. I guess there is no call for black and white films being made now. Heck, I don’t know why I call them films anyway. Are they even using film anymore or has every last frame been digitized?

Someday a car will stop to pick me up that I never thumbed. Yes, fate, or some mysterious force can put the finger on you or me for no good reason at all. -Detour 1945

“Oh, I am fortune’s fool!” -Romeo and Juliet

Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I Hated Her So Much

Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her so… much… it… it… the… it… the… fee… flames… flames… on the side of my face… heaving… breathless… heaving breaths… - Madeline Kahn in Clue

Sunday, May 21, 2006
Forbidden Zone

This is truly a unique and perverse movie.

Apparantly before Oingo Boingo was a band they were a Musical theater troupe called the Mystic Knights of Oingo Boingo.

There isn’t as much of a plot as much as a series of musical numbers that are strung together with a general theme.

The movie is in black and white. It has the late great Herve Villechaize. There are plenty of exposed breastses and in fact one character “The Princess” only appears in a pair of panties the entire movie. The music was all written by Danny Elfman and performed by the Mystic Knights of Oingo Boingo.

It does bear some resemblance to later Danny Elfman projects Beetlejuice and Nightmare Before Christmas.

This is a great movie full of Midnight Movie goodness. I don’t recommend it for the kids though. Plenty of swearing, partial nudity, fakey humping, and art school values.

Don’t miss it. 

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