So we get in the cab and go to the Riviera Comedy Club in um, yeah, The Riviera. These are the tickets that the groom’s brother spent all day acquiring so it had better be good. Bobby Miyamoto opened up and announced. He was very funny. He was young and a little self-depreciating. It was cute. Carla Rea was next, she was talking about how you get older, and things change. She also picked on the groom a little which was nice. John Caponera headlined and he made me laugh. He was talking amongst other things about blow-drying his baby’s butt and how they liked it. The day before my wife was discussing the very same so it hit close to home. Plus the guy is a pizan so I felt at home.

We had a drink at the bar at the Rivera when we were done. Someone had a Monster and I asked if they were any good. The answer was no, they taste like a chewable C tablet. That sounded good to me so I had one. I do not know what it did but I felt a little wired.

We wandered the strip for a bit and found the groom a hat. Why? His brother had been getting compliments all weekend regarding his fedora. People like the hat. So, his brother bought a hat and one for himself. I was able to score some burned craps dice and some burned cards for my friend Sarge. I was happy. I was always looking for those damned dice in Tahoe and they never have them. This corner store did have them. I was happy.

We walked to TI and did not stop for the Pirates show. One day I will see it but ti was not to be that day. We went inside hoping to go to some bikini club, perhaps Tangerine. It was lame but they were showing The Doors movie. I did not know Val Kilmer was Mr. Mojo Risin and Kyle McLaughlin as Ray Manzareck! I probably would have cast character actors not stars for such iconic figures but ah well, “I’m your Huckleberry.”

We finally got a cab to go to the Spearmint Rhino. We had to split up into two cabs and the cabbie of the other car must have talked them into another club - Treasures. I since learned they get kickbacks for just such a maneuver. Regardless of the reason I was happy he did.

Treasures was opulent on the outside and did not seem sleazy, nor cheap. Inside there was a 30-dollar cover charge. OMG. What was I supposed to do? I gave them my money.

We found a place up front and we were immediately accosted to go to the champagne room. “Um uh I don’t know!” We were directed to the balcony where I stayed all night. We did not have a good view of the stage from where we were but I did not care. Every 2 minutes some girl came around and sat in my lap. I directed many of them to dance for the groom. The first tie that night some Polish girl asked if I would not mind if they gave the groom “double trouble” two girls at once. I did not mind. I paid for it and the night had begun not with a bang but a whimper.

It was odd seeing the groom in a such a state. I tried not to watch too much. soon I had more on my mind then the groom though as the most lovely sight “Zee” stopped to talk me into my own dance as the groom was being tortured sufficiently. She noticed I was nervous and I admitted as much. She convinced me that she enjoyed her work and that if I was sufficiently creepy and or disgusting that she would not have even stopped to talk to me. That made me feel better even if it was a lie. Sometimes a guy needs to hear that they are not repulsive. Even if it is a charade.

Getting danced for was so very odd and it did feel sincere and filled with artifice at the same time. Baudrillard would have loved it. It was a simulacra and the original had been destroyed long ago. Both the dancer and the dancee (me) knew how unreal and Musee’ de Mechanique the dance was but that did not stop it from happening. I knew this was not love or marriage or commitment or even anything resembling intimacy. Yet it was er, something. I cannot say I did not like it. I did like being danced for. It did not fail to freak me out. So much so that I need to process the experience here.

I got several more dances and asked several more questions of the dancers and trying to find out if they liked stripping. Most did seem to. For the autonomy, for the ease of the work, for the money. I was convinced I wan not harming them and that they were not slaves. I hope that that is true.

We left at 6am-ish and I was quite out of money as were present. I think the groom had a good time. He certainly appeared to have had. I could not sleep that night. I saw the sun come up and called my wife as soon as I knew she would be up.

She was concerned as to the expense but luckily she is not divorcing me. I would miss her too much.

The next morning we took a shuttle to the airport and I barely made my flight with like 2 minutes to spare. Whew. I hate running in the airport. Anyway, it was great fun and when my funds recover, I would like to go back again. Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials you-know-who-you-are.

We ate cereal and tried to get the concierge to help us. UM. that was a bust. Not only that but we waited around for them to help us and some women cut in front of us. That made me want to make a scene but I refrained.

It was decided we wanted to go get steak for dinner. This is an expensive place that pretty much only served steak. We got reservations there. No problem. We decided we wanted to see a show We Will Rock You. I did not really want to see (pay for) this show but If we went to the coke building (not like that) we would get half-price tix. This seemed like a good idea so we all jumped on the monorail and found our way to the Coca-Cola sponsored building. They did not have half price to We Will Rock You and secretly I was relieved. We decided that seeing a comedy show would be cheaper and manlier. Just kidding about the more manly, Queen is 100% man band. Though now we find out we just have the half price vouchers and we have yet to get the tickets. For f--- sake. The groom’s brother generously volunteers to go do that for us whilst we go to the range. This is a generous act, and it means he does not get to have as much fun but the group does and I was very grateful. If I had to traipse around town all day for a comedy club I wasn’t going to be chipper by any means.

Guns Guns Guns. We took a taxi to Discount Firearms, Inc. we rented a pistol each, and took turns to sample a couple each. I started of with a Sig Sauer 9mm. I have fired this gun before and I really like it. If I purchased a pistol this would be the one. I seem to shoot well with it and I prefer to shoot well rather than poorly. I took some shots with the 357 magnum. I don’t mind revolvers and its fun how much thunder this gun has. This is also a weapon I have fired before. I felt so American in the range especially since we were 5 guys and it was a bachelor party and we were taking time out to shoot.

The proprietor was going off about the damned liberals and whatnot assuming we were all one of his people because we liked guns. I said nothing and agreed with him all the way. Personally, I have come to realize that an interest in guns and marksmanship do not one’s politics make. They may indicate that one is conservative, but for me, I do not mind the contradiction. I hope I never have to fire on anyone ever. For now I enjoys me some target practice.

After we were done firing our one box of rounds each we got to try an automatic weapon of our choice. I cannot express my delight at this opportunity. I had been wondering, and hoping if or when I would have the opportunity to do such a thing. I figured there was no place in th US where one could do that. Luckily, one can taste many such forbidden delights in the city of Lost Wages. I got to fire a magazine’s worth on an MP5. The groom fired an M16 and also fired was a tommy gun

Once we were done, we could not get a taxi but we were told to walk to the Strip Club up the road and we could find one there. This turned out to be true and we were able to make it back to the hotel in time to change our clothes and head out for our reservations. We were exactly on time for our reservations at Lawry’s

More Later,